Hey friends, a question was asked yesterday that I can't seem to find, but I've been pondering this all night and I wanted to write a quick note. The question was along the lines of 'how do we share our stories without offending the other parties...the ones who were perhaps covering the truth.'

This is an important question for all of us, whether we are writing  books, lecturing or just venting. It's a question I struggled with for the past three and a half years (particularly while publishing my memoir). My 19 year old - who was unfortunately a victim of assault and knows a thing or two about trauma - has been a constant angel on my shoulder, whispering these words: 

You have a right to your own story.

So often NPEs become the unwitting victim of cover-ups and deceptions. We are taught to lay low, to not trust our instincts, to people please, and not ruffle feathers. We become a character in someone else's drama, sometimes forgetting that we are the lead character in our OWN movie.

I believe that learning to own our narrative is an important part of healing. To be able to say, "I am who I am, because AND in spite of______," gives us a larger perspective and deeper insight into the things that drive us. 

But I also try to never forget that my actions and words can also be a "plot thickener" in someone else's story. There is a delicate balance between declaring something that is self actualizing and declaring war.

We need to own our origin stories without shame, and we also need to not continue that cycle of pain and shame for someone else. Which can be....difficult...especially when we often feel like a wounded animal in the corner. And particularly because we did nothing to deserve that status. We are innocents.

 I try to also remember the physician's motto: 

Do No Harm.

I struggle with this, as I know you all do. When I get in the weeds, I try to adopt a technique from meditation. When I cannot silence the monkey mind and a thought arises, I simply try acknowledge it without judgement and let it go. I mean, that is what I TRY to do, because we all know, it's never that easy. 

So...for me, it all boils down to these two mottos: "You Have A Right to Your OWN Story", and, "Do No Harm."

 I believe there is a balance we can find, but being a tightrope walker is challenging, and it often seems unfair that we've been put on the platform to walk the rope at all. But some things we can change, and others we can't. So walk with as much grace as you can muster, and if you fall, your fellow NPEs, myself included, are here to be your safety net.